Feeling a bit bleugh

Yep that's right I feel a bit bleugh. I'm giving up smoking and have been a whole week smoke free, yay me, I have a sore throat, headaches and a cough because of giving up, hope it goes away soon, I'm drinking water by the gallon because the champix (tabs to help me give up) makes me thirsty and all I do is sleep also the champix.
Work is doing my head in big time but can't afford to quit. I've spent two days in the salon where i'm supposed to be training and the owner is doing my nut in already, she thinks unqualified means incapable and hovers over my every move. The woman is lovely but she has no clue how to run a salon and won't listen to reason, it's pretty dead in there, she seems to be relying on me and my nephews girlfriend for clients.
My nephew's girlfriend is newly qualified and has no clients yet and i'm reluctant to bring in the few I have because they'll be charged salon prices and I don't get the payment until I qualify.
I think I may just look into going to the local college and seeing if I can't fast track my course that way, at least I'm guaranteed the qualification. 
The online business isn't going as well as I'd like, I still don't have the time to really focus on it and that is really frustrating me. quite a bit.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

My post title stands lol. The last couple of days at work have been a nightmare, yesterday one of the fry cooks decided that picking on on of the other girls last week isn't enough, so she thought she'd have a pop at me as well, stupid thing is I'm pretty sure the cock up on the till is hers, I know when I make a mistake and the till has NEVER been down the whole time I've been working there, but muggins here gets the blame anyway with the words "If happens again then it comes out of wages or you get sacked" apparently that message came straight from the boss.
Tonight was no better, near the end of night, me and the the other girls I was working with were merrily getting on with our jobs, the fry cook (the one we like) was cleaning the range, the other lass was in the kitchen washhing up and I was doing my job out front cleaning the counters and floors ect... The boss walks in and asks if we have any problems, we tell him no we're all good and next thing BOOM!! He starts going off on one at me and the other two, yells that if we don't want to work there he'll shut the shop and we'll all be fired, storms out and drives before anyone has a chance to even say anything.
By this point I'm fricking livid, so mad I'm crying cos if i didn't cry I'd break something (probably my fist) by hitting it. Then promptly announced that I will NOT be spoken to like that and tells the fry cook I'll cover my shift tomorrow but I'm not coming back in after that cos boss was waaaaaay out of order. Bless her cottons, she looks at me and says "If that's what you really want I'll tell him and get someone to do your shifts. But i'll give you the weekend to think it over"
By the time I got home I'm still livid but practicality has taken over from pride and I'm starting to think straight. I've just made the decision to take on a couple of ponies for the kids, on top of that I have to pay my rent, council tax, do the gas and elec and other utilities and feed and clothe 3 children, I simply cannot afford to walk out this job, especially since if I walk then I lose my working tax and I'm not entitled to any other benefits as I've walked out on "A perfectly good job". I asked my Mum what I should do and she says be practical, swallow my pride for now and bite my tongue (figurativly speaking of course) but keep looking for another job, so then I still have money coney coming in when I leave where I am now. Pride however is telling me to give the boss a shed load of grief back and walk out. Think I'll listen my Mum for once even if I don't agree with her, I know she's right, practical over pride.
This all couldn't have happened at a worse time either, I'm giving up smoking my stop date was tuesday just gone and I was so chuffed that I had gone 3 days without a cigarette but I broke and have had one and now I feel really crappy cos I was doing well. On top of that I'm PMSing, I've had stoomach cramps for the last 2 days and Instead of crying when I PMS I'm very aggressive to the point I have to be sedated sometimes.
On a brighter note, I may finally be getting my NVQ L2 In hairdressing and will be learning how to fit extentions properly, when I qualify I will have a job waiting for me and should already have my clientele built up. The salon owner is putting me through the course and then to pay her back I rent a chair off her for a year and at the end of that year if I sign a 3 year contract to say I won't work in any other salon or go mobile while I work at her salon she'll even pay for me to go on specialist courses during those three years and at the end of the 3 years I will have been trained as a colour specialist, ethnic hair specialist and will have also gained my NVQ L3. Downside is that until I have my NVQ L2 her insurance won't cover me as a paid stylist I have to go the books as a student and volunteer. But hey I know the course work this time around so I should find it easier to do along with the practical side and hopefully get my qualification by summer next year.

44 Days Of Witchery - Days 3/4/5 and 6

Because I have missed a few days of this due to being busy with work ect... I'm going to do them now all in one. I have done days 1 and 2 already so below is DAY 3:

The Athame

The origins of the word Athame have been lost to history. Some speculate that it may have come from the Clavicle of Solomon (published in 1572), which refers to the knife as the Arthana (athame may be a subverted form of this term). Another theory proposes that athame comes from the Arabic word al-dhamme (blood-letter), a sacred knife in the Moorish tradition. In either case, magickal manuscripts dating back to the 1200s imply the use of ritual knives in magick (and special knives were certainly used in ancient offerings).
This ritual dagger is usually a double-edged knife about 4 to 6 inches long. Wiccans, however, sometime prefer crescent-shaped athames that represent the moon. The athame's main purpose is to channel energy and to cut through unwanted energies from a space used in spellworking. It can also be utilized to slice through obstacles, again symbolically. It is also used for casting a circle in place of a wand.


DAY 4

Water Element

This is a picture I took of The River Tone which runs through the town I live. I always manage to find little spots like this when I visit the river, I find the sound of the water soothing and although I don't like swimming or being in water I do find that just being near it and taking my pictures calms and clears my mind and chases away negativities, for a while at least.

DAY 5

A Favourite Goddess

Earlier for the Mythology day I chose one of patron goddesses The Morrigan. This time I am choosing Hecate, althouh much isn't known about Hecate it is thought that she was adopted into the greek pantheon from what is now modern day Turkey.
Hecate was origionally thought to be an agricultural goddess giving her dominion over life and death, the greeks gifted her with dominion over witchcraft, cross roads and the night.
Hecate's favoured animal form is a black dog or owl. 

DAY 6

A Favourite God

I don't work gods very much prefering to work with goddesses but one of my favourite gods is the Norse God of Thunder, that's right The Mighty Thor. Here is what I know about him.
Thor is the Norse god of thunder. He is a son of Odin and Jord, and one of the most powerful gods. He is married to Sif, a fertility goddess. His mistress is the giantess Jarnsaxa ("iron cutlass"), and their sons are Magni and Modi and his daughter is Thrud. Thor is helped by Thialfi, his servant and the messenger of the gods.
Thor was usually portrayed as a large, powerful man with a red beard and eyes of lightning. Despite his ferocious appearance, he was very popular as the protector of both gods and humans against the forces of evil. He even surpassed his father Odin in popularity because, contrary to Odin, he did not require human sacrifices. In his temple at Uppsala he was shown standing with Odin at his right side. This temple was replaced by a Christian church in 1080.
The Norse believed that during a thunderstorm, Thor rode through the heavens on his chariot pulled by the goats Tanngrisni ("gap-tooth") and Tanngnost ("tooth grinder"). Lightning flashed whenever he threw his hammer Mjollnir. Thor wears the belt Megingjard which doubles his already considerable strength. His hall is Bilskirnir, which is located in the region Thrudheim ("place of might"). His greatest enemy is Jormungand the Midgard Serpent. On the day of Ragnarok Thor will kill this serpent but will die from its poison. His sons will inherit his hammer after his death.
Donar is his Teutonic equivalent, while the Romans see in him their god Jupiter Thursday is named after him.

Something New

Over the last few days I've come to the conclusion that I'm bored with the food I eat, no I'm not going on a silly fad diet or any kind of diet, I eat what I want when I want and because I am an active person I can get away with it, my main contention here is that with my food I know what I like and tend to stick to it, I find trying new foods daunting, which is pretty strange for someone who loves to cook, but I digress. My conclusion with the food is that I need to try new things. I was in work the other day and was looking at the Battered Cod in the cabinet and thought "For years I've said I don't like fish" but for the life of me I can't remember why, so I decided to start small, I tried some cod and found that I didn't dislike it but I'm not overly fond of it either, it's bland, too bland, so I added some garlic mayo (options are limited in a chip shop) and found that I enjoyed it alot more.
Jump to today and I've cooked up some Salmon fillets with Garlic Butter and Lemon Juice and again as with the Cod i'm not sure about it. It tastes like it's like it's trying be chicken but the after taste is really weird. I don't dislike it but I'm not sure I like it either, maybe it's a flavour that I can learn to appreciate, I just have to find teh right mix of herbs and spices for me.
I have decided that with the exception of Ice-cream, Lamb and Mutton (which I'm allergic too) when I go for my weekly shop I will be adding a new food type and trying it out.
This is my great food challenge. 

44 Days Of Witchery - Day 2

The Morrigan

 The Morrigan is a goddess of battle, strife, and fertility. Her name translates as either “Great Queen” or “Phantom Queen,” and both epithets are entirely appropriate for her. The Morrigan appears as both a single goddess and a trio of goddesses. The other deities who form the trio are Badb (“Crow”), and either Macha (also connotes “Crow”) or Nemain (“Frenzy”). The Morrigan frequently appears in the form of a hooded crow. She is one of the Tuatha Dé Danann (“Tribe of the goddess Danu”) and she helped defeat the Firbolg at the First Battle of Mag Tuireadh and the Fomorians at the Second Battle of Mag Tuireadh.

The origins of the Morrigan seem to reach directly back to the megalithic cult of the Mothers. The Mothers (Matrones, Idises, Disir, etc.) usually appeared as triple goddesses and their cult was expressed through both battle ecstasy and regenerative ecstasy. It’s also interesting to note that later Celtic goddesses of sovereignty, such as the trio of Eriu, Banba, and Fotla, also appear as a trio of female deities who use magic in warfare. Eriu, a goddess connected to the land in a fashion reminiscent of the Mothers, could appear as a beautiful woman or as a crow, as could the Morrigan. The Disir appeared in similar guises. In addition to being battle goddesses, they are significantly associated with fate as well as birth in many cases, along with appearing before a death or to escort the deceased. There is certainly evidence that the concept of a raven/crow goddess of battle was not limited to the Irish Celts. An inscription found in France which reads Cathubodva, ‘Battle Raven’, shows that a similar concept was at work among the Gaulish Celts.
During the Second Battle, the Morrigan “said she would go and destroy Indech son of De Domnann and ‘deprive him of the blood of his heart and the kidneys of his valor’, and she gave two handfuls of that blood to the hosts. When Indech later appeared in the battle, he was already doomed. Compare this to the Washer at the Ford, another guise of the Morrigan. The Washer is usually to be found washing the clothes of men about to die in battle. In effect, she is choosing who will die. An early German spell found in Merseburg mentions the Indisi, who decided the fortunes of war and the fates of warriors. The Scandinavian “Song of the Spear”, quoted in “Njals Saga”, gives a detailed description of Valkyries as women weaving on a grisly loom, with severed heads for weights, arrows for shuttles, and entrails for the warp. As they worked, they exulted at the loss of life that would take place.
The Morrigan and Cu Chulainn
She appeared to the hero Cu Chulainn (son of the god Lugh) and offered her love to him. When he failed to recognize her and rejected her, she told him that she would hinder him when he was in battle. When Cu Chulainn was eventually killed, she settled on his shoulder in the form of a crow. Cu’s misfortune was that he never recognized the feminine power of sovereignty that she offered to him. She appeared to him on at least four occasions and each time he failed to recognize her.

1. When she appeared to him and declared her love for him.
2. After he had wounded her, she appeared to him as an old hag and he offered his blessings to her, which caused her to be healed.
3. On his way to his final battle, he saw the Washer at the Ford, who declared that she was washing the clothes and arms of Cu Chulainn, who would soon be dead.
4. When he was forced by three hags (the Morrigan in her triple aspect) to break a taboo of eating dogflesh.

44 days of Witchery - Day 1

I pinched this off of a friend's blog because I think it's a kick ass idea. so with that in mind I ask you to join me in this 44 days of witchery.
What’s your witchy background?

I always new even as a child I was different, I was a bit of a loner and was always drawn to wolves and nature, I'm an Air sign but I don't like the wind, rain bothers me, but I love the feel of the earth beneath my feet and fire fascinates me.
My family has some very gifted women in it but I'm pretty sure that apart from my Nan (now passed over) on my mother's side I am the only one who practises the craft and tries to use the gifts we have inherited. My mother if she developed her gift could be a very powerful woman, she is connected it would seem to the spirit realm as a guide for those who are ready to pass over and she has the gift of foresight but it's not something she has learned to control, she is scared of her heritage and so ignores it hoping it will go away.
My older sister is a strong witch also, stronger than myself I'm sure. Once I cast a circle with her to help her perform a protection ritual for my nephew and I have never had an experience like it since, the experience scared my sister and she has refused to cast again, such a  shame that the two most powerful women in the family are so terrified of their strengths, my sister's daughter nearly 4 yrs appears to have the connection to the spirit real also but it skipped my nephew who is now 16.
My younger sister appears to skipped the gifts and shows no signs of having any that I know of and neither do her daughters.
Of my own children my daughter now 10 yrs from a very early age has shown signs of becoming a very powerful medium, my boys at 7 yrs appear to have inherited the gift of spell casting, I had thought that they were the next generation to be skipped but when one of our cats was injured recently they joined hands at one of their altars and asked the Lady Bast to come before them and gift them with healing for Salem (the injured cat), his recovery was so quick the vet couldn't work it out, he should have been unable to walk properly for months and within 3 weeks he was back to his old self.
I came into the craft when I felt lost and was looking at self help books, after that a very not so subtle hint came from the other side, a witchcraft book was dropped on my head twice from a bookshelf, no-one was around at the time.  
My gifts include healing which I appear to do automatically, I don't know how I do it, I just do, I have my mother's gift of foresight but not very often does it show and I have the connection to the spririt world but not as strong as my other family members with this gift. I can sense spirits but cannot hear or see them, I am also clairsentient, it is so strong at times that I have to isolate myself.

The following list are the next 43 days of this challenge.

A myth or story from folklore.
Witchy tools: athame.
Picture of nature (water element).
A favourite Goddess.
A favourite God.
Air element.
A photo of a magical place outdoors.
A favourite mythological animal.
Your sun sign.
Witchy tools: oils.
Picture of nature (air element).
What are some of the witchy books that influenced you?
A favourite pagan holiday that you celebrate.
Thoughts on the afterlife?
Favourite witchy website(s).
Picture of nature (fire element).
Have you had any paranormal experiences?
Fire element.
A picture of a tarot or oracle card, and its meaning.
A favourite scent.
Current moon phase.
A favourite candle.
Your moon sign.
How do your close ones feel about your witchy path? Do they know? Why or why not?
A witchy podcast.
Picture of nature (earth element).
A picture of a witchy I-Want-It-Now!
Water element.
Witchy tools: wand.
A favourite pagan/witchy movie.
A pagan/witchy artwork.
Faerie of your choice.
Rune of your choice.
Something that I think people who don’t know much about paganism/witchcraft should know.
Flower of your choice, and its magical properties.
A famous pagan/witch!
Witchy tools: cauldron.
Something that inspires you.
Your altar, if you have one!
A spell you’ve done.
A favourite nature spirit.
A magical recipe.
Witches Choice

The Bubbling Cauldron

Slightly frustrated that I haven't as much time or money as I'd like to focus on the business, as a result the webstore is just sitting there idle. So tomorrow I have the day off from work and the plan is to ring various pagan magazines and newspapers and ask them to post an advert in their publications each week/month as well as creating some ebay listings to bring in business. No point having a store if no one knows you are there right? Also with the new season change comes the next holiday in the pagan's calendar Samhain  and with it will be coming the sabbat competition from The Bubbling Cauldron.
I have yet to decide what the competition will be, but I am leaning toward the best Halloween outfit or a question about the holiday. Tomorrow I will reveal all. With the change of the month comes the new offer of the month.
To visit the webstore go to www.thebubblingcauldron.co.uk